Post exam stress

I've been living my life like 25/7 albeit there's only 24 hours in a day,
I've been awake everynight, ironic since i cant get enough of sleep,
In hoping for a bright future, obviously i'm not living up to expextations.
Failure is the key to success? Can i rely on that at least for this once?
I tried my best, but best is always not good enough.

UNSW is designed to make you confused, the level of education varies from every course that you take. To be honest, after experiencing my first university level exams, i'll have to say, mixed emotions. Some lecturers spoonfed you, some don't even give you the slightest clue. But all in all, it all comes back to you. Commerce undergrads enjoy the lack of contact hours, we just have 12 hours. Even with the advantage of having free time to revise per say, i can't even make it to lectures in that 12 hour periods. One thing's for sure, university is NOT like school or pre-u. You might think you can get away with a decent paper just by studying the very last minute, for instance studying at Mcd from 1AM to 5Am, but seriously, they will bring you down! They will screw you, scraping every confidence left in you, no mercy, UNSW means serious business.

Maka, dengan ini, diisytiharkan penutupan semester pertama untuk Hazim Nazlan di Universiti Wales Selatan Baru walaupun terdengar ura-ura yang anda bakal gagal.

Uncertainties

Where did my shoes go?

Do you voice out thoughts or feelings?

How do you lose a guy in 10 days?

Why did Chuck change his mind about Blair?

Is wearing pink and purple considered gay or metro?

Do boys really don't cry?

Cats don't have 9 lives do they?

What is the best aphrodisiac?

How does it feel like not being Hazim Nazlan?

Im being miserable too.

I just can't resist anymore, at first the initial plan was to make this blog a beneficial one.

But now, life seems too fucked up, and as typical as always, i'll use this blog to mumble on the same thing people write on their blogs each day, life. Condolences to Hazim since his blog is now officially retarded and gay.

Well, yea whatever.

It's official-Ala Carte withdrew from the band competition. Too much too handle for us newcomers. But not too worry, bandmates, we'll still jam and perform.

Reality check-Exams are just a few days away. I keep on being in a situation where i'm the only scholar in my course and stuff, it is hard since nobody is there to lead the way or kick you in the ass for not putting an effort.

Am i being myself recently? I think i'm being so fake in order to impress. Well, people around me are not my age, do i act my own age?no. Do i get to be the usual wacko that i was here in Sydney? Not as much.

Rugby is totally the in thing. Will i get a chance to play the position? If only i'd be fitter physically. There's always next year or maybe the next training? I'll give my best shot.

I've found a new passion, which is photography. Such a pity since the scenery around here is so unique and i can't even capture the moments. No camera no can't do mister.

Time, feels like there's no time at all. Summer turned to fall. Fall is turning to winter in no time at all. Probably, three years would just slip by without me noticing it. I better start using it then.

I need to learn some jazz chords.

And to be honest, am i enjoying my uni life? Not as expected. Haih.

I could see hapiness in people's smile. I could see joy in their laughters. But amongst the merry feeling, some are hiding the truth. We all are, guess it is just a point in life where the wheel is at the bottom? Rain is falling down, people around me are being and feeling miserable, and now, i'm feeling the same way too! Wut the fuck.

I've never felt like this before, i miss my family.
When your family went away from you, nothing is affected.
But when you go away from your family, thats when it strikes you, smack right in the middle of the chest. Yes it does, you can be as ego or as feelingless as you can, but it does hurt somewhere and somehow.Haniz happy birthday again. Mom, congratz on your new position. Abah, thanx for keeping in touch and the support. I miss you guys.Awwww. Actly, i love you guys. I know you won't ever read this, but, i hope u can feel it even though i've never or will never ever show it.

A baby was born and he smokes

Butter cake and cup cakes(homemade)
A card
A birthday song
Friends(even if semua seniors =p)
Perfect Situation

Thanks everyone, what a way to start of a new chapter of my life ey?
Words to describe my feelings that night are none existance.
Even if Christine screws everything up beforehand..=p
I was totally in awe with everyone
Sayur gile kene main from Idzani, to Christine, to Hafiz, and orang-orang lain, damn.

Well, anyways, this is another bende x penting, however i would like to stress out the point on friendship, that's basically and simply the formula for you to survive in life or maybe now as a student.

Another important issue,gratefulness. Grateful I am with all the free food i got that night.=p

Last but not least is at least i know that star gazing is the lamest excuse you can give to a person when you want to drag em out to a surprise party.haha

Part 2

Do you choose to be happy?
Or do you choose to be sober?
Consumption of substances makes you go light.
Is that something to be afrightened of?
You just need a little bit of self control
For the rest, just let the good times roll.

Do we really need to think of the long term effects on everything? Well, in a short run, it is such a hastle to put aside distractions. Don't you just feel like you want to suck everything from life at this point of time no matter how good or bad, no matter how filthy or healthy it is. Experimenting i call it, no matter how lost a person could be, awareness of their situations is there, thus let us not be judgemental. If i'm not mistaken House has an addiction, same as all of us! As there are abundant of addictive things out there, albeit we are bound to be drawn into habit. Some of us have psychological approaches towards substances, for instance, a smoker may not be dependant to nicotine, however it is just a habit for them to inhale the so called deadly smokes. ok,xde mood nak sambung.

Sudah cuwak

I'm screwed big time, will my vocal chordes work tomorrow? The thought of the audience booing and throwing wrotten stuff to me keeps on hitting in my head non stop like a bulldozer penetrating an old useless building. Will i get the adrenaline? Or will i just lose it on stage and choke? I guess we'll have to find out tomorrow. There's always a first for everything and that includes being in a band and being the vocals!!

I have not memorised at all the lyrics, i am going to choke, i expect there are gonna be maybe a hundred people around? Gosh, why am i so nervous?

Tipah tertipu!

I started to realise my Armageddon just an hour before the battle was about to happen(quiz finance je pon). Boy i had to cover 2 chapters in just 40 minutes,was it even possible? Of course it wasn't. I had to think of a strategy fast, and i had one.

I'll have to ramble on what I studied then, i just copied down the formulas on discounted securities and bond prices, yeah and i still do not know what the heck they are. Then the idea was to bring the paper in the tutorial and use it during the quiz, it was a success!

8 mcq questions and 2 calculations questions, with the formula paper on the ground next to my bag, and i sat next to a Chinese girl(stereotype budak cina rajin belajar kan), i nailed the quiz with the help of the sheet and the girl.HOHOHO.

15% worth of quiz in just 20 minutes? Is that even possible? Luck was totally on my side today, it was a great thing that the tutor was not paying attention to me during the quiz(coz she's a Malaysian!). See how my life is falling into places these days. But i guess things happen for a reason, now i'm just waiting to be hit by a lightning then. Ok, i should not be asking for it, but yeah, it has to stop, i've been living my life full of lies and cheating. Well as the saying goes by hook or by crook right? I always ignore the hook part though,haha. Do i even deserve to be hear right now? I don't belong here(Creep by Radiohead sgt best!). It just slipped through my medula omblongata that i lied my way through the interviews and discussions for my scholarship. Or maybe i was just selling myself? I was certainly exxegerating(camne nak eja nih) though, the interviewers were sort of bounded by a spell to be in an awe by me. Haha. I would like to quote them, i asked them what were the chances of me of becoming a scholar? 'To tell you the truth, it will be a lost to us if we don't take you'. How's that for cheaing in life? Now let me hear what you have to say then.

Mytunes

Credit to Idzani for the lyrics